


Too Long a Martyr

by AlmayCorazon



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-10 16:30:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6964441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlmayCorazon/pseuds/AlmayCorazon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Accepting defeat is something that she's always done, it's her comfort zone, her fallback and she hates it. Old habits die hard. Quinntana or die trying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Long a Martyr

A/N: I was sitting here thinking of how Quinn doesn't have an ending. After all the shitty things that have happened to her, she doesn't get an ending and then Otis Redding comes on and I ended up here after months. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

* * *

I've Been Loving You Too Long (Otis Redding)

* * *

While all of my former glee counterparts have found success and pitiful failures in the last three years, I have been slaving away at school.

I've been told by many professors, sorority sisters and roommates that it is insane to breeze through Yale in just three years but here I am, two months shy of graduation nonetheless.

It's been grueling and so I have allowed myself some respite.

So that's how  I find myself back at McKinley with Puck at my side. He has been so great for me in the past few months.

If there was ever a guy that has understood me better than I could ever begin to understand myself it's him. He knew that I needed the distraction. Being there with the palpable tension between my two best friends and the beard that was Biff Macintosh, I needed Noah to shield me from my nasty habit of looking to a man to define me.

And then Brittany gave that great display of devotion. Lilies.

I even helped her set it all up and then went running to the one person that was always there for me...maybe some times too much.

 _"You love her."_ He said as he passed the flask to me, our eyes glued to the view on the other side of the parking lot.

 _"Love who?"_ I asked, my eyes never leaving the shake in Santana's hands as she clings to Brittany for dear life. Post the lillies, I'm noticing how hesitant she seems and it shows me just how fragile their reunion was.

_"Santana. I mean I knew about Valentine's last year but the look you are giving her is lovesick."_

_"Noah..."_ I whispered, taking a gulp of the nauseating vodka.

 _"I know. You can't."_ He sighed. _"But at least let me help to save you from making a fool of yourself while you figure things out."_

_"Okay."_

* * *

 

Thanks to Noah, no one questions me if I stare at her too long.

No one wonders why I'm tearing up as I watch Santana kneel in front of Brittany.

I look back at Noah and he begins to clap and I nod.

That's what I should be doing.

It's quick...a split second really but it's enough for him to know...this is breaking my heart.

But I smile through it, waiting for the first moment to get the hell away from them when Kurt does what I would never have the gull to do.

He protests.

In front of everyone and I can't help but comment. Defend them.

I mean even if I'm against this travesty, I know that it's just not proper form to such a thing.

At least wait for the wedding.

It's what I would have done...except I have no intention of stepping foot near their union. For me, this is it.

Brittany won and I will walk away knowing that me and her are never going to happen.

Knowing that there is no conceivable way that I could trust myself with openly loving Santana anyway but at least even for a little bit, I got to hold her in my arms.

At least for those few hours, I got to pretend that she was mine.

I'm a Fabray, I will survive this with a smile, with grace even if it kills me inside. I won't stop loving her, I know it, Puck knows it and I'm pretty sure that dig of breaking the hearts of the guys and girls in the room was Santana verifying that even she knew how I felt.

I had to let her go...I just wasn't sure how.


End file.
